you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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