wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
