she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
