I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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