trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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