We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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