i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I need to sanitize my soul.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
