help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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