There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
