we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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