pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
