Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize