I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
