No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So vagazzling was a success
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
