It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize