he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
