i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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