dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
