Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
