i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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