So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
