Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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