john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
