i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
