ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
