I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
