Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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