I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
