I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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