..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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