There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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