anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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