It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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