You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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