So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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