my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
