i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
