yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
