organizing the empties. That sober.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize