I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize