TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
