...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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