i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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