I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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