barbara walters just said penis...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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