i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
