I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
