Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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