My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
