I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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