Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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