Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
