FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
