There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
my liver is dry heaving
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
