The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
