She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
