my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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