if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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