Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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