ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
