Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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