Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
