In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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