ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
